Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
