Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
