No awkward lesbian experiences without me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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