I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
