haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
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