I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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