Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
