grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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