I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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