hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
