i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
