Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize