I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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