He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
