Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
