We're like a lot better than the average bears
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
