5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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