How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
