Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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