i wish my penis had a tongue
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
