Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
