Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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