Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
