What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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