Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
