Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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