Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
