Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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