Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
