my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
