if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
