btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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