yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
