I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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