last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
