I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
