and you said cock pushups were impossible
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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