i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need to sanitize my soul.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
