...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
