What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
