I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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