God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
