I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
