you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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