remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
