Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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