sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
