Will you blow on my dice?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
