forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
