My cat gives me a boner
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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