OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
