you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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