May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
