True but thats because hes a fetus.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
