i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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