Welp...herpes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
