I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
