my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
