he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
